Oxford Dictionary Revised

Through the course of time, humans have evolved to become intellectually more superior (or so we think). With this evolution, our methods of communication too must evolve with the times. Situational changes dictate that we associate terms to suit these changes. That being said, here are the latest revisions to our trustworthy Oxford Dictionary.

Boss

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other

Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Criminal
A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught

Divorce
Future tense of marriage

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes

Father
A banker provided by nature

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Opportunist
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth

Peace Out!