Life's Embarrassing Moments...

Ever had one of those moments when you wished the earth would open & swallow you up?
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*Third Place*
Submitted by a 21 year old student

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home,but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone.

Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire family - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.

Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again .
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**Second Place **
Submitted by a 30+ year old mother of 1

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons, and I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself immediately, she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee (dick) last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow, and the last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.
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***Champion***
Submitted by a 19 year old undergraduate

This happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.

A young female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?"

"That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add statistical data to prove his point.

Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?".

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing and the poor girl turned bright red as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied). Picking up her books without a word, she started to make her way out of the class when the professor gave the most classic reply.

Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the tastebuds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"